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The Dunk Where Blake Griffin Takes Kendrick Perkins Soul

January 31, 2012 in Sports

Cred: Jose3030

A Monday night in sports borders between must see television and casually flipping through the cable package looking for something good to grab your attention. Then you realize the Clippers are on national television against one of the best teams in the Western Conference so surely, you sink in your chair and prepare to chill.

What you don’t recognize is the moment where something incredible happens.

Time stands still, you rush to your phone and ask your best friend or whomever in shouting distance did they see what just happened. Sure, the Clippers shot the Thunder out of the building and showed that a team of shooters eclipses Durant & Westbrook going for 30 apiece and the rest of the team putting up jack, but it pales in comparison to Blake Griffin snatching the life force out of Kendrick Perkins in the third quarter.

Welcome to the show, Perk. You can join Timofey Mozgov in Blake Griffin Dunk Therapy.

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Prince Fielder Breaks The Bank, Signs $214 Mil Deal With Detroit Tigers

January 24, 2012 in Sports

The baseball hot stove just got a flame lit underneath it as the Tigers, already home to an All-Star & MVP candidate at first with Miguel Cabrera provided an immediate stop gap to the Victor Martinez injury by signing prized free agent Prince Fielder to a 9-year contract worth $214 million. Is it a good move for the Tigers who are coming off a loss to the Texas Rangers in the ALCS? Possibly considering that Prince could be the most valued DH in the AL with Martinez lost for the season.

[via ESPN]

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Kobe Bryant’s New Pitch: The #KobeSystem

January 15, 2012 in Rockin' My..., Sports, TV

Divorce be damned, the Black Mamba is playing out of his mind right now. The Lakers have seemingly found the fountain of youth with Bryant racking up four consecutive 40 point games and the Lake Show going 3-1 in those efforts. Want to know how he does it after all these years and his ex-wife snatching away two of his mansions?

The Kobe System.

Nike once again puts forth a hilarious over the top commercial for Bryant’s signature sneaker following last year’s short film as Bryant takes what he’s learned over the years with five rings and passes it on to other uber successful people, luminaries such as Paul Rodriguez, Kanye West, Aziz Ansari (here by accident), Jerry Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Serena Williams, Tony Robbins and others. Kobe’s the motivational speaker, you listen and enjoy the system.

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Did You Know “Pedobear” Roots For Penn State?

January 3, 2012 in Sports

In the distasteful parts of the internet, there is the mythical Pedobear – a tactic used by many websites to mock child predators and could be considered a mascot for pedophiles thanks to that bear image being used as bait. We’ve seen him all over the place in different arenas but none so shockingly (and sadly “fitting”) as being caught at a Penn State football game.

Yesterday in Dallas, Pedobear made his college football debut in the stands of the Ticket City Bowl between Houston & Penn State with a sign that read “Keep Quiet & Don’t Tell Anyone”. The kicker? The Nittany Lion logo rested atop of the slogan. Ouch. Before any PSU fan gets upset at the Coogs behind this, the origins of it comes from a Texas Longhorns message board so there’s that.

Also, UH won the game 30-14 with Case Keenum rolling up 532 yards and 3 TDs in his final game as a collegiate quarterback. So there’s that.

CRED: DeadSpin

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Kevin Durant Starts His MVP Campaign Early

December 30, 2011 in Sports

During the summer & fall from Hell that was the NBA Lockout, Kevin Durant made sure his name was the most talked about due to his exploits along streetball courts across the country. He became an easy pick for MVP once the NBA finally got off its ass and got the regular season going and last night against the Dallas Mavericks, KD35 once again proved his claim as being one of the top three ballers on the planet.

First, the Mavericks were already reeling from two near blowout losses on Christmas Day to the Heat & Nuggets the following night so they were looking for a bounce back win. Two, the two teams met last year in the West Finals with the Mavs winning in 5, payback resting in the mind of the Thunder faithful. Three, Russell Westbrook, who’s busy being pegged the next Stephon Marbury had a decent game after his atrocious game the night before (0 for 13 shooting, 4 points, 4 turnovers) and four, the game went back & forth and even made Vince Carter seem relevant by Vinsanity hitting what would have been the game winning 3 if not for Durant’s greatness in the closing seconds.

The phrase “KD For MVP” might start bubbling from the flats in OKC, long as the Thunder keep on rolling with their start to the season.

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Yet Another Reason To Hate The Miami Heat

December 28, 2011 in Sports

Two games into this abridged NBA season and we already found out that the Miami Heat not only came to ball, they came to win. Dusting off Dallas on Christmas Day and letting the Celtics believe they had a chance last night is what LeBron & company believe is a prelude to May & June, where they exorcise the demons and finally grab a ring.

Yet, still embracing their Hollywood Blondes role (WCW reference!) – the Heat led their home opener with that music video/terrible Abercrombie & Fitch ad down below. From triple polo Shane Battier to LeBron’s hairline going through its last days, check out the Heat being the Heat – epileptic with some sexy dancers and Chris Bosh still being a weird tyrannosaurs looking ass negro.

Note how they just treated Norris Cole like a nobody and only dropped his last name in the package.

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The Continued Adventures of the Money Team: Floyd Mayweather Arrested

December 21, 2011 in I Gotta Give You A Zero, News, Sports

It’s apparently just not a good week for athletes and the women they’re involved with. Earlier this week, Kobe Bryant’s wife Vanessa filed for divorce from him. Now, current WBC Welterweight Champion VH1 reality TV star Floyd “Money” Mayweather, has gotten caught up in domestic violence charges and will be headed to jail.

According to Yahoo, Mayweather faced domestic dispute charges in Las Vegas that originated from an incident September 2010 involving Mayweather’s ex-girlfriend Josie Harris, and which include harassment charges as well. Mayweather allegedly hit Harris and took away her cell phone, then proceeded to threaten two of the children they have together. Following a plea of guilty, Floyd was sentenced today to 90 days in jail, 100 hours of community service, and will have to pay a $2,500 fine as well. He is expected to report back to court on January 6.

No word yet as to whether “beating your baby moms” is up there with owning multiple expensive cars and both an indoor and outdoor basketball court in the Money Team code of morals, but at least Mayweather will be out of jail in time for his anticipated return to the boxing ring in the summer of 2012. Besides, take a look at Floyd’s mugshot below. Doesn’t that look like the face of innocent man? No? Oh.

[via Yahoo! News]

 

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For A Night, “Lob City” Owned Los Angeles

December 20, 2011 in Sports

Twenty four hours later, the psyche of a Laker fan at the moment is distraught. Possible tears flowing into a pillow image of Chick Hern, hoping that they don’t create a well inside of your James Worthy goggles. The largest sect of basketball fans in California bleed purple and gold and for a night at least, the small step children who always decided to have red, white & blue embedded in their DNA had something to crow about.

The Los Angeles Lakers, a team normally built upon flash, power or a combination of both actually looked old against the little brother Clippers with the cute new nickname of “Lob City”. The Clippers, not the Lakers looked more like “Showtime” in a 114-96 preseason romp at the Staples Center, leaving Laker fans to question how terrible has the last nine months been as a Laker fan.

Sure, it’s the preseason and Kobe & co will find a way to nudge their way into a top seed out West. But for a night, they were shown up by a much healthier and energetic squad with a point/off guard combination that shouldn’t necessarily work but it did, with a four/five trade off that varies on the absurd in terms of athleticism and a general at the point guard position for the first time in forever.

Watch out Los Angeles. If they stay healthy, Lob City could dominate the SoCal headlines – and not because of Donald Sterling’s negligence. Keyword: if they stay healthy.

RELATED: Today’s Obituaries: The Los Angeles Lakers Casual Fan Base (1960 – 2011)
CRED: Jose3030

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The Week Just Got Even Worse For Kobe Bryant

December 16, 2011 in Sports

Let’s count the losses Kobe Bryant has taken in the past eight months or so, shall we?

1. Losing Phil Jackson.
2. Losing to the Dallas Mavericks by 36 in a four-game sweep.
3. The lockout.
4. Not going to Spain during the lockout.
5. Getting a crappy labor deal.
6. Getting a CP3 trade vetoed by David Stern.
7. Losing Lamar Odom for virtually nothing.
8. Losing CP3 to the team across the hall.
9. Getting divorced.

The last one might sting more than the others seeing that Kobe didn’t sign a pre-nup when the two got married some ten and a half years ago and the general synopsis of how this divorce breaks down is like this: Kobe’s a dog, Vanessa is L.A. fine and wants joint custody of the kids. TMZ has all the long winded information that we just summed up for you just in case. Check & mate.

All I know is this, the Staples Center might really belong to Lob City this year.

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Bears WR Sam Hurd Is The NFL’s Newest Dope Boy

December 15, 2011 in Sports

Call this interesting or perplexing. Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd was arrested Thursday on federal drug charges after authorities busted him attempting to buy multiple kilos of cocaine from an undercover agent.

According to the federal complaint, Hurd was arrested Wednesday night after meeting with the agent at a Chicago restaurant. The complaint contends Hurd told the agent that he was interested in buying five to 10 kilograms of cocaine and 1,000 pounds of marijuana per week to distribute.

Here’s the question, why is a backup wide receiver for a solid NFL franchise attempting to be one of the biggest drug dealers in Chicago, which has a Hall Of Fame of legendary drug dealers? Not to mention Hurd already had to talk to Homeland Security earlier this year when $88,0000 was seized from one of his cars back in Dallas.

Oh well.

[via]

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