Despite what some may believe, there is no “national spokesperson” for Black Americans. Not Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, or any other name that typically follows statements like “I don’t see them screaming ‘Black Lives Matter’ when it comes to black on black crime.”

It’s why figures like Hilary Clinton doing the “dab” was unnerving for some, as too many individuals make the assumption that “knowing Black culture” consists of nothing more than learning popular phrases or dance moves. It’s why we’ve grown fiercely protective of how minorities are portrayed in the media, thanks to years of negative images that undoubtedly helped perpetuate stereotypes that stubbornly persist to this day.

It’s also why the outcry following the recent release of BuzzFeed’s “27 Questions Black People Have For Black People” was both swift and warranted. After wasting roughly two minutes of my life watching the clip, it became painfully clear that the video was nothing more than a string of dated questions repackaged under the guise of “Blacks asking other Blacks.” 

Thanks guys. And no, this isn’t a thanks guys to the black people who work at Buzzfeed proper and churn out some pretty thought-provoking content. This is a “thanks guys” at the heads of Buzzfeed Motion Pictures who decided to script all of the internal self-hate they could, put all of the six black people who may work at Buzzfeed Motion Pictures in front of a camera to embarrass themselves as opposed to move the conversation.

If the point was to gain clicks then they certainly succeed, but it came at the expense of those that they were supposedly “providing a platform” for. Congratulations, you played yourself.

Below are a few of the most head scratching questions. The kind that only seems to get answered by that one Black friend that some people have.

Why can’t we acknowledge there are different kinds of black people?
Oh we know. We know.

Why is being educated a white thing?
Yes because despite over 4.5 millions African Americans holding degrees, including First Lady Michelle Obama who graduated from both Harvard and Princeton University, education is a “white thing.” K.

Why is there a checklist for being black?
When was this handed out? In between line dancing and mandatory hair braiding classes?

Why is growing up without a father so common?
Common for who? I suppose active black parents are a mythical creature. Deep.

Why is it okay for black men to date white women, but not for black women to date outside of their race?
Listen carefully: We. Don’t. Care. In fact, when Eve and Janet Jackson married non-black billionaires I gave each a virtual high five. Do your thing.

Do you really believe black is beautiful?
Does BuzzFeed Motion Pictures is the better question.

Why is my natural hair seen as a political statement?
Perhaps if braids and dreadlocks were not seen as “unprofessional” in Corporate America it wouldn’t be.

Why do people get upset when I don’t like a black celebrity.

Again: We. Don’t. Care. In fact, I’m sure you have your own favorites, like Stacey Dash.
How did watermelon become our thing?
It was “given” to us via racist stereotypes promoted in everything from early Disney films to kids cartoons.

If my Dab is on fleek am I lit?
Please stop googling words. For the love of God just stop.

Why do we call each other the N-word but get mad when white people say it.
Because “Move to the back of the bus cracker” has never been a thing.