Bobby Womack - dirty mack

Bobby Womack, Dirty Mack legend who married Sam Cooke’s widow months after Cooke’s funeral. *photo credit: Getty Images*

Urban Dictionary defines “a dirty mack” as

dirty mack def

“Dirty macking” has existed in R&B since the dawn of time. The “B” stands for the blues for a reason – these women and men were bluesy BECAUSE they wanted someone they couldn’t have. So, they tried to sing them away; and “dirty mack R&B anthems” were definitely amongst last decade’s finest moments. I undertook the daunting task of tracking down the best R&B dirty mack songs from the 2000s about stealing somebody’s man or woman.

Only songs from the years 2000 through 2009 were eligible (thus eliminating modern staple “Marvin’s Room”). Earlier this week, we unveiled the bottom 9, which you can view here. Here are the remaining top 6 R&B Dirty Mack Anthems of the 2000s.

But first, two Honorable Mentions that just BARELY didn’t break the Top 15.

**Honorable Mention: Lloyd – “Treat U Good”**

Lloyd’s third studio album, Lessons in Love, is most remembered for “Girls Around the World” with Lil’ Wayne and “Year of the Lover,” but it also contained two dirty macking gems. “If He Knew” is the more blatant bonus track, but it’s “Treat U Good” that’s Lloyd’s best kept secret. Over a seductive beat, Lloyd pays his lady friend a visit after finding out she and her man are “beefin” and unashamedly takes advantage of her vulnerable state.

**Honorable Mention: Aaliyah – “I Can Be”**

We like to remember the belated singer Aaliyah as a kind soul, sweetheart, and one of the Princesses of R&B. But, it turns out, “Baby Girl” has a dirty mack song in her arsenal as well. Hidden in the confines of her 2002 self-titled last studio album, is a track entitled “I Can Be” where Aaliyah all but begs to be the side chick. I’m still shocked.

Now, on to business.

6. Monica – “Don’t Gotta Go Home” f/ DMX x “Sideline Ho”

Arguably, one of the strongest and most emotionally charged singing voices in R&B remains Monica’s. Which is why it’s understandable that DMX falls prey to Monica’s crooning on “Don’t Gotta Go Home,” off Monica’s After the Storm LP in 2001. X plays a cheating husband who’s feeling guilty about cheating and Monica is the side dip, appealing to X’s baser emotions and insisting that where his wife offers headaches and drama, she offers head and comfort.

But Monica’s pretty good at this dirty mack shit. So good, in fact, that I couldn’t decide whether “Don’t Gotta Go Home” or “Sideline Ho” was the more trifling song from the singer. “Sideline Ho” could, in a sense, be seen as Monica’s “answer” to the woman on “Home” – a song where the wife/girlfriend directly calls out the dip’s failure to steal her man away from her. Ain’t you tired of being on the side line?” Monica asks, in full petty falsetto, “tired of getting yours after I get mine, baby?”

5. Chris Brown – Ya Man Ain’t Me

In 2005, Chris Brown sprung on the R&B scene, much like a certain young man by the name of Usher Raymond did a decade earlier, with a radio-worthy voice and killer dance moves. He was propelled into the national spotlight with his dance club smash “Run It,” but Brown’s self-titled debut album was loaded with bangers, including this dirty mack-tastic conversation piece where Chris runs pure unadulterated game on an unsuspecting taken woman. “Girl, I know you got a man but he slippin’/ I can see myself gettin’ in where I fit in,” Christopher Maurice insists, and we know it’s more than one place he’s trying to fit in.

“Ya Man Ain’t Me” is also the anthem for “Simba Season,” as well, for younger men outchea trying to a cougar (older woman) to let them pounce one time (“I bet he didn’t count on a lil’ nigga like me comin’ round, giving you thangs to think about.”) Tell em, Christopher. Tell em!

4. Avant – “Now You Got Someone”

The best kind of dirty mack, if such a thing exists, is when you approach your prey, err, object of your affection from a place of feeling for them rather than wanting them for yourself. On “Now You Got Someone,” Avant, a household name in the 2000s for seductive love grooves, plays the concerned friend turned “You know, I’m better for you” man.

3. Toni Braxton – “Wasn’t Man Enough”

Few things are dirtier than confronting your ex’s new work in public and telling her she made the worst decision ever by hooking up with your ex. Well, unless you’re acting like you’re doing the new work a favor by telling her all these things. This is the role Toni Braxton plays in “Wasn’t Man Enough,” keeping her enemy closer and shitting on her former beau with no hesitation.

2. Mariah Carey – Don’t Forget About Us

Actually, I take that back – there IS something dirtier than that: calling up your ex and reminding him of the good times. On “Don’t Forget About Us,” a bonus addition to the platinum special edition of Mariah Carey’s comeback album The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey seemingly just insists that she doesn’t want to be forgotten. But Mimi’s up to something. “Oh, they say that you’re in a new relationship/ but we both know nothing comes close to what she had.” AND Mariah does a sassy little rap towards the end, too. This is exactly why you don’t pick up the phone when your exes come calling. EXACTLY why.

And the winner and undisputed champion of Greatest R&B Dirty Mack Anthem of the 2000s is…

1. Dru Hill – I Should Be

Dru Hill was responsible for some of the definitive R&B slow jams of the ’90s. For the 2000s, the R&B quartet is singlehandedly responsible for taking dirty macking to a whole ‘nother level by providing EXACT INSTRUCTIONS a woman can follow to leave their man. Mind you, Sisqo and Co. never actually elaborated on what those “more steps to complete” were after she left ol’ dude. Burn his clothes? Take the house as her own?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.