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The Dallas Cowboys of the ’90s were known for a few things. Winning big, being flamboyant at times and getting in trouble with the law. With the current Cowboys actually owning one of the best records in football, it would only make sense for the team to revisit some of the other parts of its glory days, right? Take backup running back Joseph Randle for example.

Randle was arrested Monday night in Frisco, Texas on charges of shoplifting from a local Dillard’s. The items? A pair of Polo underwear ($39 retail) and the tester bottle of Gucci Guilty Black cologne ($80 retail). Now, we’re not going to assume things about a running back set to make over half a million dollars this year but we can at least begin to speculate as to why Randle had his own “C’mon Man” moment and put the Cowboys back in the headlines for the wrong reasons.

01. He Wanted More Touches
When another running back, DeMarco Murray is currently the best running back in football and is also your teammate, you’re naturally going to want to get some shine for yourself. Well, I’m sure this wasn’t exactly what Joseph Randle had in mind but still.

2. He Channeled Pimp C
The world understands Pimp C’s classic “smell my cologne” line. Only problem was, Joseph Randle didn’t get much of the memo as to what cologne Pimp told the world. Issey Miyake and Bond No. 9, Joseph — you take that, not some Gucci Guilty Black.

3. Cuffing Season
Preparations for cuffing season are already upon us. Given that he’s already in the middle of an NFL season, let’s just give Randle the benefit of the doubt here. When you’re studying a playbook, looking to make the right cuts and moves on the field, satisfying a potential new boo may be secondary in your life. So when you finally get the chance to do so, why waste precious seconds paying for something like cologne & underwear?

4. Ebola Protection
Because nobody wants dirty underwear and smell terrible when the world is making fun of your city for having a possible Walking Dead on its hands.

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