Here’s what we’re going to do people. We, are going to sit here and watch a trailer to a film with Michael Bay’s named attached to it and try not to cry or hurl things at the screen. We, are going to not think solely about nostalgia, pizza, anchovy jokes and lamp shades. We, are not going to think even more about the “N*gga Turtles” parodies that made us truly realize that Leonardo is Drake in disguise.

We, are going to watch this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer from Bay and director Jonathan Liebesman complete with William Fichtner narration and a ton of CGI buildings getting destroyed, unexplained action sequences, shots of both Leo & Mikey and Megan Fox as April O’Neil. And we will all hold hands and try to be positive, alright? Alright.

Here’s the synopsis:

The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan.