God, I hated the term “Sucker For Love”.

Maybe because it was true and maybe because I felt it maybe once or twice growing up but I’ll never forget thumbing through my dad’s record collection and stumbling upon Bobby Caldwell’s “What You Won’t Do For Love”. I had never heard the song before at the time, I was probably all of 7 when my eyes got big and saw the family last name on a record. “Did Uncle Bobby make this?” I asked my dad. He, being one of the world’s greatest b.s.ers calmly told me yeah and just let me believe for about three years that I had a famous uncle who made music.

Then three years past and 2Pac’s “Do For Love” unofficially became my anthem. I switched elementary schools and none of the girls really excited me like my crush did at my first school. She left for Louisiana or something in seventh grade and I was absolutely devastated. Crying over your crush was realer than real in 2000. That’s when the “Sucker For Love” thing kind of started and might still go on to this day. Still, I knew Pac had sampled Bobby Caldwell’s “What You Won’t Do For Love” and that horn section that cascaded into the annals of being something a pimp would entice a woman into believing him with.

2000 was right around the time I caught on to my dad’s story about my uncle Bobby being the Bobby Caldwell. One internet search later and the entire story crumbled like the Giants defense to the Panthers yesterday. Knowing my uncle had grown up Jehovah’s Witness, there was absolutely no way he could have sang the song. As much as I love him, he’s sort of a square to these things. So, doing as a b.s.er would, I told my dad in response, “I never knew Jehovah’s Witnesses looked like David Spade.”

He laughed.

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