wrestlemania-29-splash

Here we are again. Another first week of April, another WrestleMania upon us. For the third consecutive year, we’re busy tackling through storylines and the idea of what’s going on for real in the land of the ‘E. BG & Brando return back to the prediction table to figure out who’s getting their hand raised at the end of the night. Without further …

miz-barrett-wm29

BG: This is just on the Pre-show so my anticipation is not at an all time high. I give it to the Miz for the sake of a early title change to show how “unpredictable Wrestlemania is!”

Brando: The Miz, by very crappy figure-four. I miss the brief moment in time when Cesaro basically dead lifted him and swung him into a barricade for our enjoyment. Speaking of which, why is Cesaro not on the card? And why does the WWE continue to bury their better heels WM time? Let me stop asking questions now because we could be here all night.

tons-of-funk-rogue-scholars-wm29

BG: Honesty, I would rather see AJ Lee and Kaitlyn go at it for the Divas title as opposed to this being the “divas” bout on the card, but I guess I have to settle for this. To me the winner of this match depends on placement of the match on the card. I bet it’s sandwiched between main events, and depending on who goes over in the main event (heel/face) to decided who the winner of this contest. I will go out on a limb and just choose Tons of Funk for the sake of choosing.

Brando: I’d much rather this be AJ vs. Kaitlyn much like you – but I’ll go Team Rhodes Scholars because Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes understand a bromance angle better than anybody. That and Sandow is gold.

jericho-fandango-wm29

BG: Honestly, this will be an excellent match. Both guys can go. Y2J has always been an excellent in ring worker, and from what I’ve seen from Fandango in his NXT days, I think he’s a solid worker too. I do feel a certain way about a superstar making his debut in WWE on Wrestlemania, but I think this will be go. I say Fandango goes over, because Jericho is in the point of his career where he makes guys.

Brando: 365 days ago, Jericho was wrestling arguably one of the greatest WWE title matches in Mania history. Now? He’s making Fandango nee Johnny Curtis into a star on the biggest stage of them all. Everybody who has watch NXT knows Curtis has tried his damnest to make this gimmick work. He’ll win here too due to shenanigans. I mean, Jericho only likes to abuse Ziggler with the Liontamer these days so … yeah.

team-hell-no-ziggler-wm29

BG: Team Hell No. Then Ziggler will cash in (finally).

Brando: It’s time to get the belts off Team Hell No. As much as I love Daniel Bryan and wish he were somehow involved in the WHC match or something to redeem himself from last year’s 18-seconds that wound up cementing him as a star – he has to deal with being the best technical wrestler on the roster who can also do comedy whenever necessary. Oh and Sell Gawd is cashing in that briefcase, I give a damn on who.

del-rio-swagger-wm29

BG: After Swagger made his return to WWE, and then they completely killed Antonio Cesaro’s character to make room for him, Swagger has made a big impact. He and Zeb Colter are even making national news with their sudo-racist rants about the Mexican-American population. ADR has been going strong in his recent Face turn, but expect the win to go to the Real American. Swagger wins by distraction from Colter then putting ADR in the “Patriot Lock”.

Brando: Does it matter? Ziggler’s cashing in here finally.

ryback-mark-henry-wm29

BG: “That’s what I do!” versus “Feed me more!”, in the 2013 version of Ultimate Warrior versus Hercules, Ryback and the WSM, Mark Henry will either have one of the most entertaining matches on the card, or a snooze fest. I give it to Ryback on this one cause he needs a win on PPV.

Brando: All Mark Henry does is beat people up. Yes, I feel Ryback is stale as can get out right now and Henry pretty much is at his best in this role as a pure badass who doesn’t care about shit except hurting people. It’ll be slow, it’ll be boring at times but Henry wins.

shield-super-best-friends-wm29

BG: BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!! Nuf said.

Brando: I love wrestlers with logic. I love The Shield even more when they basically broke down the latest iteration of the Super Best Friends with, “Which one of you is going to turn on the others?” Shield wins here, no way THIS version of the SBF takes them down.

taker-punk-wm29

BG: Wow. This is a match to remember. This is the reason I am buying ‘Mania, to see this match. Every year I look forward to The Streak match, more so than the title matches. The build up has been excellent, Punk is on fire. I honestly don’t want anyone to win. No one benefits, really. If Undertaker wins, his streak extends to 21-0, and diminishes Punk work over the last year, including his 434 day rain as the WWE Champion, in my opinion. If Punk wins, he becomes super over, but The Streak, the most important part of the legendary career of the Undertaker is no more. All that being said, the win will go to The Deadman.

Brando: Outside of Punk, Michaels was the only guy I really, really wanted to break “The Streak”. After desecrating the urn and becoming the best super heel the company has seen since the 2 Man Power Trip, Punk might as well be serving himself up for a complete massacre here at the hands of the Deadman. Punk The Gawd has sold this match better than anybody outside of HBK in the past, not only making this personal as hell but the streak as well. Taker will win, but not until Punk damn near drags a four-star match out of him.

lesnar-hhh-wm29

BG: Paul Levesque is at the end of his career, 13-time champion, executive in the company, sure fire Hall of Famer, and his biggest accomplishment, married to Stephanie McMahon. His last goal is to defeat Brock “BrickShitHouse” Lesnar, but don’t hold your breath. Just like HBK, just like the Nature Boy, expect a loss from Triple H, leading to his retirement at the Grand-daddy of them all.

Brando: Let it be known, we technically didn’t want this match the first time and now that we’re getting it with a contrived stipulation of Trips Has To Retire if he loses – I still don’t want it. However, Trips wants to go out in the same fashion as Ric Flair & his best friend Shawn Michaels only in a far more gruesome fashion. Lesnar cares jack about a Mania Moment unless it involves putting Trips out of his misery for the good of THIS BUSINESS. HBK may shed some thug tears but Trips is done – and should have been when the two fought at Summerslam.

rock-cena-wm29

BG: Cena is re-growing on me, pause. After two years of booing the man, he has switched gears, and has been putting on excellent matches and Delivering great promos. The Rock on the other hand has also been on an amazing roll. Not only having four movies come out over four months of this year, The Rock has also returned to break CM Punk’s 434-day reign as the WWE Champion, and once again has regained his spot as the number one man in the business. The Rock versus John Cena at last year’s WrestleMania lived up to the hype, and this year I expect nothing less as John Cena will become the 11-time WWE Champion.

Brando: Last year when we did this, we both said Cena would win. And we both looked dumb as shit. This year? I actually WANT Rock to win. Because Cena ever since his divorce last year has been a complete wreck on the microphone. Nobody believes he’s an underdog, not even if he strapped on Underdog’s suit and ran to the ring in it. Neither of them really NEED the WWE Title at this point but the fact Rock actually LOOKED and SOUNDED like classic Rock during the go-home show on Monday, I want him to just stop this madness of another Super Cena title run. You might think Cena would go heel but looking at the WWE splash page – he’s advertising for Fruity F*ckin’ Pebbles. Sigh. Cena wins.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.