If you hadn’t heard, tomorrow marks the fifth anniversary of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s wedding. It also marks my 25th birthday but that’s not the point. The point is that Mrs. Carter has made certain that you remember nothing about my silver anniversary on this planet and more about her. And her husband. And everything in between.

So here, for six seconds join me in wondering why did Beyoncé pick tomorrow as a special day to release new music or announce a new album or do whatever she wants short of literally taking over the world. Make all your Illuminati jokes about her mechanical glove, her stance, the tribal instrumental in the background and the sort. Just know – Beyoncé decided to make my birthday her own personal moment of glory.*

* – if you hadn’t noticed, this was completely sarcastic as hell and people are rather ecstatic for anything B does, hell even breathe.