If you forgot that R. Kelly added the term “author” to his impressive resume, then here’s a reminder. Earlier this year, the singer and father of modern R&B released his memoir, Soulacoster: The Diary Of Me.

It’s probably something that requires instant reading in the same way we glued ourselves to the radio to determine what happened next with the original five chapters of Trapped In The Closet. Gary Oldman has read it to hilarious results and the best parts find Kells threatening to fight the Sears Tower, open up about his tumultuous childhood, his first encounter with sex (which would easily explain his “sex tape” excursions) and then some. He also makes mention of meeting Tupac & The Notorious B.I.G. before they died and the book clocks in around 377 (!) pages.

He’ll be a Kornbreads (9373 Richmond) from 8 to 10 PM signing copies. Sadly, there’s no audio version of him singing the whole thing (yet).