The Night Stone Cold Returned & Cena Sucked (Again)
Welcome back to your weekly episodic recap of everything going on in the WWE leading up to WrestleMania. If you haven’t been with us the previous two weeks then here’s a slight recap. You see, The Rock came back and proceeded to lay into John Cena and make himself once again the most liked guy in the company. Cena retorted the following week by rapping to mild response and then last week The Rock completely decimated Cena like he was nothing. Oh and Triple H & The Undertaker came back and will have a match at WrestleMania over Undertaker’s undefeated streak. Caught up? Good.
Now, this week Cena promised to respond to The Rock in the form of “The Final Knockout”. Did he rap? Not really but instead he did “hip-hop”. Um, yeah. The only funny bit came towards the end when Cena debuted The Rock’s *ahem* new shirt saying “I Bring It … Via Satellite”.
So if you’re scoring at home kids that would be Rock 2, Cena 0. Even though The Miz keeps attempting to make himself relevant in his WWE title match with Cena at the big pay-per-view, obviously the WWE has painted themselves into a corner. Rock/Cena is an absolute goldmine and would set off buyrate history if they actually did it and just had The Miz thrown in there for good measure. A Miz/Cena match by its lonesome? No bueno. As a matter of fact, Miz isn’t even the best heel in the company. That title would belong to – Michael Cole.
Yes, Cole. The dweeb who Vince asked to replace the absolute golden standard in announcing Jim Ross has actually found a niche. At first it was him sticking up for The Miz and acknowledging Miz as a shockingly good wrestler once he became WWE champion. Plus with the whole anonymous RAW GM thing, Cole gets to read his e-mails and has developed one of the most annoying catchphrases outside of his own vintage, “Can I have you attention please? And I quote…”
The whole thing has stretching between Cole and his partner, wrestling legend Jerry “The King” Lawler into odds merely because Lawler has become the straight up commentator while Cole has created a persona thinking he’s bigger than Raw. Needless to say they’re going to have a match and that match needs a special referee.
Cue the Glass Shattering.
In case you were wondering how Mania looks in terms of an actual card, here you go.
WWE Title Match: The Miz (c) vs. John Cena (Expect The Rock involved somehow)
World Title Match: Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio
No Holds Barred: The Undertaker vs. Triple H
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Michael Cole (w/ Jack Swagger as Cole’s trainer & Stone Cold as guest referee)