As a teen in high school, if there was any relationship code I heard from girls before they started picking out potential daters was the “points” system. They had this shit locked down to a science to the point where a dude got points for eating his plate lunch right or even having the ability to get McDonalds like it was 4th grade all over again and that same kid used to talk shit about everybody else who had Jello & Spam burgers because he had McDonalds.

Believe me, as much as men rank things when it comes to women – the “points” system is the end all be all. Not to say it’s rather sickening but if you really wanted to go for a true points system ladies, you’d be striving for more dudes who wish to maintain than simply attain.

But here, for all intents and purposes is that weird “points” system some blind and specific folks will follow. Those who can’t add need not try to comprehend. I keed.

01. “Good Hair” Points

I used to call this the “Omarion factor” until I happened to creep upon this. Basically, women (and some men who hate weave) enjoy having a companion who happens to have a mane like a lioness or something real natural. Even if that mess she calls hair looks like an uncut shrub, any afro, braids, long hair don’t care or waves will fit the bill – and anything not store bought for the fellas.

02. “Swag” Points

Otherwise known as the “he/she knows he/she is ugly as hell, yet for some reason I am really attracted to them. I’ve been trying for the better part of ten years to figure out why women love Lil’ Wayne. It can’t be because he admits to eating the munk, otherwise America must have the driest coochies in the world. Same goes for any reasonable man who would dare attempt taking on Remy Ma.

03. “Light Skinnted” Points

Look, light bright nergoes went out in ’91, it’s a proven fact (even if Drake is trying his damndest to bring them back). But the women? Oh hell no. Put it like this, you could have six bangin’ chocolate women standing around some yellow or redboned woman from the Muduckian Tribe of Hellnawisa and at least five of them chocolate women would leave disappointed. Sorry, but that’s the inner decimation most black men have to deal with – light is right.

04. “Mandingo” Points

Works both ways. Big ass? Big breasts? No problem! Carrying enough wood to make a Twlight novel blush? Oh yeah, you’re in there buddy!

05. “Internet Blogger” Points

The mere moment you mention that you write for a living – pants off, underwear to the side. Um….fif?

06. “Plies” Points

I’m not a thug, I just play one on CD. Formerly known as Milli Vanilli points, since we knew they weren’t doing their own thing and is better known as Lacey Duvalle points since I know for damn sure not a thing on her is really real. Although I think I’d still give it two rounds. Alright one before I give her the Pacquiao and knock it out.

07. “Diddy” Points

Really, he’s everywhere. You are forced to see him regardless of what he actually does for a living which is ganking artists for their money being a mogul. He could be selling some high end shoe laces and you’d still be messin’ with him. Well, because he’s Diddy. Say the same for Beyonce, and I don’t even put her in my “bad as hell” top ten.

08.  “Roger” Points

Tell me Roger from Sister, Sister wasn’t just trying to be nice with the twins and they didn’t start wantin’ him til’ he grew up and joined IMX. Yup, just because you’re too nice or too sweet, you get points for that. Sounds like an Apple commercial or something.

09. “Accent” Points

Girls from New Orleans, that Jamaican dude with the long hair, pretty much anybody from a place you aren’t from/don’t currently reside in. Let it be known that I probably won’t be going to Harlem Knights anytime soon – for fear of meeting a woman from NOLA that is going to woo me. Almost happened once, won’t be twice.

10. “Pootie Tang” Points

Sine yo pitty on the runny kine. I mean, folks who stick in between the bounds of knowing what is right and what is wrong in their community. That saint who your mom would enjoy being around because you preach responsibility & morals and all that political ish.

Anything I miss?