Alright, it’s been a month, shit’s happened and more random thoughts have crept in my head so what better to do than put them down on paper? Because that was the whole point of this (well besides, giving away new music, old music, photos of fine women, what have you partake).

00. My Friends & Those Who I Talk About A Hell of a Lot

In no order, just as I freely type this: TheEgyptianOne, because she asked me to write this, lol. Cousin Megan, because we’re almost the same person – even though she carries a vagina. Anita Ewok because when she’s indifferent, she’s deadly, Mr. Fantastic, because even though he’s Costa Rican and people think he’s Mexican, is still probably one of the smartest people I know. Swag 4.0 because he is my brother from another mother & Kapn’ Kirk, because he was the first friend I had when I moved into a new neighborhood about 12 years ago and shit hasn’t changed that much since. Ms. Muthafucka’ Me, because she understands my Foxxhole side jokes and the bitchassness of Keith Sweat records. B. Maxwell, because he says some of the most random and funny ass shit in the world. Same for ZuLou who I could get in a debate about Lil’ Wayne and still come out alive (even though he can convince the hell out of me). Alma, even though she doesn’t have a nickname still frequently reads this thing (and when I do write, I intend to point out specific situations and not overall general issues). Anybody I miss?

01. The Dems Are Shooting Themselves In the Face

– When it comes to this healthcare thing. Frankly the whole thing was a mess from jump street and the fact Obama championed his entire campaign on it is even worse considering how far along we’ve come into his Presidency. Is it going to work and not have tax payers pay out of the ass? No because we’ll be sinking so much money into the damn thing that we’ll all be broke as hell just trying to be healthy. I know everybody wants a public option but if the government already fucked up the stimulus – then what do you believe they’re going to do with your health care choices?

02. I Suck At Saying Goodbye

– Open wound fact here: whenever I get the chance to let go and stay letting go, it usually doesn’t work because somehow I go against my own thoughts and bring somebody or something back. Maybe they don’t need to be back and they don’t need me – who knows (I sometimes hate that sort of dependence anyway because I sometimes have it hard trying to depend on me to do something for me). Couple that with the fact that I’m a giant procrastinator and you get the recipe for some very problematic relationships after they probably should have been ended.

03. Fighting My Nightmares

– I’m not saying I have superpowers but anytime I have a nightmare or sense one coming in my subconscious – I immediately try to force myself awake again. Happened last night and had to calm myself down with a piece of chicken (I know – how black of me) and some Loose Ends. Now here’s my thing on nightmares – they don’t really teach you anything except for the fact that in the back of your mind something shocks you and you do not want to experience it – period. I fear my Dad going crazy or my Mom having another weird attack with alcohol as much as I fear my own failure in life.

04. Why Men/Women Believe In The Bench System

Quick definition of the “bench system” for those who don’t know. Basically a man and a woman will weed through possibly five potential partners and like basketball – only the best get put on the team. Put it like this – the bench system kind of kills the whole idea of finding the right one (even though it helps the selection process) because everybody is trying to be like the Yankees or the Lakers and have a dynasty of fine women/good men. We hardly look at the shortcomings our bench players and our starters have and instead focus on the positive. However, a healthy shuffle is good for you – as I’ll tell you whenever I find the time to write Why Casual Dating > Relationships.

05. Does Oral Really Matter?

Also known as the ducking and dodging question. To me, oral matters since it’s a key aspect of foreplay. Most dudes want to be all high and mighty about getting some head because, “It’s 2009, what woman doesn’t?” Plenty. You can say the same for men who don’t go down and twirl the pearl. The hell is down there for you to be scared about? In Jamaican culture, it’s actually frowned upon but in America – “we no give no fuck” simply because sex shouldn’t be dominant or geared towards the pleasure of one particular sex – it should be for both.

And really, if you expect a woman to try and even consider taking your manhood my good friend, you had damn well better take some resolve and enjoy her womanhood. If you don’t, enjoy the blues.

06. Growing Up Without a Father (Females)

– A lot of women want to blame their current state in life on not having a father figure in their life or possibly without someone who can show them guidance and is dedicated to seeing them succeed in life. Basically to say, if you are a woman and have a fucked up childhood you will grow up and have a fucked up adulthood.

It isn’t true for every woman who grew up with their mothers alone because sometimes, a father isn’t needed in the picture. A biological is susceptible to failure and get labeled sperm donors because they leave. Do they deserve their title? Yes. Any man who walks out on his child is not a man, but rather a selfish child himself who cannot muster the responsibility. When you decided to lay with that woman and she had your seed – what were you supposed to do? Don’t think of Maury to solve your issues and claim that the woman is a ho when you’re not shit as a man.

Those who have grown up without fathers and been successful, kudos to you. I applaud anyone who comes from a terrible situation and pulls through on their own merits. Even though you might not have a man telling you what is right and wrong about a man, you grow up aware of your surroundings and your situations. Not every woman becomes a “Superhead”, most of those women grow up to become your modern day success stories. Do they need a man in their lives to grow up? In my opinion – no.

How can I say this when I’ve had both of my parents to nurture me, you ask? Because I’m a man, and I’ve been accused of abandoning a child when truth was that the child was not even mine. I’ve been asked to try and get in contact with the woman but I refuse and it wasn’t even out of spite but pure morals. Why would I even want to after being lied to in the first place?

07. Gucci Mane

– I’m sorry, you have all those chains but you seem to be afraid of chap stick. Well damn!

08. Halloween

– Also known as an excuse for a woman to dress like a whore/saint and a man to look like he has done something with his life. Do I mind the costumes? Hell no (thinks back to Halloween a few years ago at UH in Kirk’s old dorm – and yes I’m still shaking my head at that one man!) but it’s kind of lame if you run up on five Michael Jackson’s and three Flavor Flav even if Flav looks like he’s been stuck in Halloween for the last 20 years). I would say for folks to wear a costume that fits them, but then again I look like Waynehead almost everyday so what would be the point in my case?

Also, if I find someone dressed up like Michelle Obama or H1N1 for Halloween, I will literally laugh out loud. That or Gucci Mane, because they’d have to go a month in preparation just to pull it off.

09.  Cursing All The Time Doesn’t Make You Funny

– And I’m not hating on Katt Williams or anything but him just cursing left and right doesn’t make a lot of his jokes actually funny. When B. Maxwell says “nigga” more times than a Pastor says “God”, you have to take it in stride because well, that’s his most known curse. And he’s funny with it. I don’t appreciate you peppering in motherfucker ninety times just trying to tell me about how the waiter screwed up your order and smelled like fresh bacon.

10. Following Rappers Words As If They Are God Sent & Being Real

People sometimes get on my nerves with this bullshit because apparently you can’t be objective and question one rapper while liking another. Either you like Jay-Z or you hate Jay-Z, either you’d swear Nasir Jones is the best rapper alive or he’s the worst because he’s too damn deep (and if you openly admit that last statement, take a razor and aim for your aorta). Just today when the Beanie Sigel diss dropped, folks were immediately taking sides (when everybody was on Jay-Z’s nuts hard as hell a month ago when BP3 dropped) or how they’re all on Wayne’s dick today because of “No Ceilings”.

These are people, contradiction runs in their lifestyles and half of the time I don’t even believe the shit they say. When it comes to music, they may say something that invokes either ignorance or intellect. But believe me – I don’t think Plies is actually a goon. I think Rick Ross’ tits have more street cred than him. I don’t believe the Jay-Z is Occult rumors and anybody who plays shit backwards is reaching to try and stand out because just being a “fan” doesn’t make them happy. So please, leave it out of your Facebook/Twitter statuses about how somebody else is “real” when it’s obvious you hop more dicks than Michael Jordan has kicks (and I wasn’t rhyming on purpose). Be objective – it’s a choice of life.

Megan had a point – “People claim to be so real nowadays that everybody seems so fake.”

Honestly, I agree. Because there is no possible way you can have 6 billion “real” people in the world (word to the SGA meeting @ UH). If you did, how many wrong things do you think would have occurred in this world if everyone were real? I might as well have not written this blog if I knew that were fact.

But it isn’t and those “real” men and women who write poems and statuses thinking such things when they’re actually softer than pure slave cotton won’t realize this. Thankfully, you need fake people in the world just to reaffirm that shit has to be on balance. I don’t claim to be real or fake, I just claim to be human, capable of faults and success.

Or a Waynehead, take your pick.