Now, maybe I’m a bit skeptical on what exactly happened between the former Mr. & Mrs. Nasir Jones but after hearing what TMZ is reporting on the matter when it comes to what Kelis feels she should get in the divorce/spousal support proceedings than I must make two statements.

1. Nas lost for marrying her.
2. This broad is giving Superhead a run for her money in gold diggin’ (c. EPMD & Kanye West, with co-signs from Jamie Foxx)

Usually, TMZ is nothing more than gossip but all of a sudden they’ve become a trusted news source (they called the Michael Jackson thing first before anybody else did). It’s like they’ve wiped their bullshit slate clean and started drumming up, dare we say – REAL news! Anyway, back to the point. It’s a hip-hop staple to say the phrase “Nas Lost” whenever a competition arises.

For example, beating Hov in their diss battle but then working for him – Nas lost. For making the Nastradamus album – Nas lost. For making QB’s Finest – Nas lost. For almost wifin’ up Carmen Bryan who slept with Jay-Z, Allen Iverson and even wrote a book about the whole thing (yes, that condoms in the baby seat thing was real).

When it comes to Kelis and what she wants in spousal support – take in these numbers, according to TMZ.

According to docs filed by Kelis’ lawyer, disso queen Laura Wasser, the financial wizards have reviewed the earning of both parties to the divorce, and they’ve come to these conclusions.

– Nas pulls in $244,826 a month
– Kelis rakes in a relatively paltry $13,744 a month
– Kelis should get child support totaling $17,225 a month
– Kelis should get spousal support totaling $72,728
– Nas should pay retro child support totaling $29,522
– Nas should pay retro spousal support totaling $281,571

Yes. Read that right. Kelis believes Nas makes 250 grand a month. Times that figure by 12 and we’re talking 3 million a year. Kelis makes 156 grand a year. She wants – 418 grand total, or in other words – what Nas supposedly makes in a month and three quarters.

Child support? I understand – even though child support cases are some of the most one sided cases in the American court system because men hardly ever win and women are instantly viewed as sympathetic and in need of their children when in all honesty that money isn’t going to their child but rather to support the lifestyle they once had.

I WISH I brought it 13 grand a month (would make college a lot effin’ easier to manage) and if you can’t do the same with a child, the really – why are you a mother in the first place? There are women in far worse financial situations that persevere and do the damn thing. Spousal support, I get due to the fact that she was pregnant and Nas probably did some dirt (allegedly) and the fact that she’s bitter, angry and disillusioned for the green backs.

But to pay my ex-wife simply because she LIVED WITH ME (retro spousal support) – oh fuck no.

Why the hell should I pay you when you were making your own damn money when we were together? Yep, Nas should have followed the Eddie Murphy rules of marriage when you’re famous. Although Eddie fucked that up TWICE in his real life – see Scary Spice.

It’s nuts what divorce has come to in this country, especially if you’re famous. And or scorned.

Previously On — The Fear of Marriage & Relationships & Greatest Divorce Letter Ever

Brando

EIC of Day & A Dream, Brando has written for such publications as DJ Booth, Refined Hype & the Houston Press. Wrestling enthusiast, sneaker addict, sports junkie and certified cake eater. Follow him on Twitter: @_brandoc

• Web
|
• Twitter
|
• More Posts