First off, shout out to Cousin Megan and TheEgyptianOne for that good ass time last night. Soul food + Soul music + Wine + Ciroc & Lemonade = a hell of a night!

Now, to to real issue at hand with this post.

LeBron Raymone James.

I am a LeBron James fan.

Since that is out of the way, I do have my criticisms of LeBron, all of which range on the fact that while he may be the second best player in the league (or first if you absolutely hate Kobe Bryant) – he isn’t the best guy to really take something serious. Yes, I’m well aware that he looks like a joker half the time on the court and even during those pregame intros when the Cavaliers were beating anybody and everybody during the regular season. Then they got their asses exposed by Dwight Howard and the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals and we all knew what happened at the end.

LeBron walked off the court, didn’t give props to the Magic or even talked to the media. And the media scolded his ass for it. That was just simply taking a loss. Taking a dunk at your own basketball camp is an entirely different story.

It was assumed he was called “King James” because he reigns on the basketball court. But maybe LeBron James earned that nickname due to his tyrannical ways (in dealing with embarrassment).

On Monday, Jordan Crawford, a sophomore at Xavier (by way of Indiana), reportedly dunked on LeBron during a pick-up game at the LeBron James Skills Academy. Garry Parrish of CBSSports.com wrote that one high school player said, “it was bad”. (We can only assume he meant “bad” in the Michael Jackson sort of way.)

LeBron must have agreed, because he had Nike officials confiscate the two videos that were taken of the dunk. (Parrish blames Nike, but reading between the lines it seems like the censorship was orchestrated by LeBron himself.)

Ryan Miller, a freelance photographer who was working at the camp that day, told CBSSports.com:

“LeBron called [Nike Basketball Senior Director Lynn Merritt] over and told him something,” Miller said. “That’s how I knew his name was Lynn. LeBron said, ‘Hey, Lynn. Come here.'”

A few minutes later, Miller’s tape was confiscated.

Connecting the dots, it seems clear that LeBron didn’t want video leaking out of him getting dunked on by a college sophomore, so he told a Nike official to get the tape. It was an understandable reflex move (gotta protect the image), but it also unnecessarily makes a mountain out of a molehill.

The Crawford dunk would have been a temporary embarrassment for LeBron. Let’s say the video was put on YouTube. It blows up for a bit, dominates blogs for 36 hours, everyone has a good chuckle and then it’s forgotten about.

But by censoring the tape, LeBron turns the dunk into a legend. On video, it’s just a dunk. Without video, the jam can reach mythic proportions. Because nobody can see it, the story of the dunk will grow in stature with each telling. Today, it was a simple two-handed slam. In a few days, it will be a 360-degree windmill. By the time Crawford makes his Xavier debut in October, he will have jumped off LeBron’s shoulders, flipped in the air, slammed the ball home with his left pinkie and then handed LeBron $3.99 for his dry cleaning. (Source: Rivals)

First off, I’ve been styled on playing basketball. Who hasn’t? I’ve embarassed plenty (mostly for a lack of skills). Looking at LeBron, it would have been fine like the reporter said if he just let the shit go and allowed Jordan Crawford to have one day of saying, “Alright, I dunked on LeBron.” Now, LeBron is gonna make it seem like whenever something bad happens to him, nobody can see it. I don’t think Olajuwon stopped the game when John Starks got in his ass back in the ’94 Finals. I can’t recall Steve Nash crying for a Men In Black-esque Tommy Lee Jones figure to come out the stands with Kobe made his nuts and Nash’s face temporary BFFs in the playoffs a few years ago.

But c’mon LeBron. If the folks at Nike can make fun of you just losing – can you not take a joke yourself? I dunno if we’re witnesses to something great at the moment – we may be witnesses at bitchassness personified LBJ.